The Worst Sunday of the Year

A year or so ago, I blogged about how anxious and sad I used to get when Sunday night rolled around every week. I felt that way mostly because my mom travelled a LOT for the work she did with Boeing and she'd usually leave town either Sunday evening or first thing Monday morning. I would miss her terribly and even count the minutes on little pieces of paper until her expected returns. I always thought that I was the only one who dreaded Sundays like that.

I finally opened up about it to Pete a week ago and he said that he, too, dislikes Sunday evenings because it means it's time to stop having fun chilling or tinkering around the house, turn around and get ready for another long week at work. Heh! I never knew other people felt this way! That was comforting.

Somehow the topic arose again in an email exchange I had recently with Carol and she, too, confirmed the loneliness, sadness and dread that most Sunday evenings have brought to her in her own life as well. And I'm pretty sure yet another friend mentioned the same thing in a separate email exchange we'd been having!

Wow! I didn't feel quite so alone anymore! Other people feel the same way I do about Sunday nights?! It's not just as simple as, "Bah. I don't wanna have to go to work tomorrow. Boo." Heh. If only it were that simple! Instead it seems that everyone has different "negative" emotions tied up with this particular evening hours. Sure, the basis of such short-term depression may root itself in having to go back to work for those in the Rat Race. But there's far more emotions mixed up in that, too.

In the early evening on New Year's Eve, Pete and I had a chance for a short visit with a co-worker of his (she gave him all of her old photography studio gear to get his darkroom started in its setup!!! She's totally awesome!). We lightly discussed how nice our holidays had been and what we were all doing for the evening in celebration (party for us then sleeping through midnight). At one point, I heard her say something along these lines (I'm paraphrasing): "Isn't this Sunday night like THE WORST of the whole year?! You've gotten all this time off for the past two, maybe three weeks for vacations or family visitations because of Christmas and the New Year and all that. Sure you may have to work a few days in the middle there but they're slow days at work and it's mostly relaxing and fun anyway. But I always hate the Sunday night after New Year's Eve because that's when I know that for real it's all over. It's time to get back to work and get serious again. No more back-to-back paid days off or any of that. Just back to the daily grind for another whole year. Big bummer." And she's RIGHT! This has GOT to be the worst Sunday of the entire year for just those reasons she referred to!!! UGH! No wonder I've been feeling the dread slowly building since the moment I got up this morning! What are we to do to get through it?!

I haven't conferred with many stay-at-home people on the subject yet and I wish not to only limit my inquiry to stay-at-home MOMS and/or DADS because there are lots of people without kids (*ahem*) who stay home for different reasons (*ahem*) aside from taking care of children. Speaking of which, I am also curious to know how Sunday nights feel for those who work from home, too.

Now that I've begun getting a consensus of sorts from those around me who also dread the creepy dark and depressing evening hours of Sunday nights, I am working on a way to change or combat such awful feelings.

There was a time, about five years ago, where I took some time off from any form of employment because we were finally able to afford it and I had recently suffered through a long period at a job that I really hated. So I took the year off to be a Housewife (though, certainly not Desperate!). It took me a while to accept the fact that there is no shame in being a Housewife when, in fact, it's more of an honorable position of sorts. But that's a different story entirely. My point in telling you this is back then I'd make myself to-do lists on Sundays and work on them throughout the following week. But for the last two years, it's been different for me. The other night at a neighborhood New Year's Eve party, various new neighbors of ours (well, we're new to them I guess) asked me what I did and I said, "Nothing right now, I'm just taking some time off. But in reality, I'm actually a preschool teacher." However, on the stroll over to the party across the street earlier in the evening, I had fantasized about replying to that sort of question with, "I stay at home and fight cancer. Though, I'd rather be teaching preschool again, this is my job right now. The pay is crummy." Ha. Ha. I refrained from using that line because I have found that when new people come into my life, they are rarely comfortable with some of my more light-hearted moments when I make jokes about my cancer-ridden life. (Most women really hate one of my favorite quips that "chemo is the best diet EVER! Want to lose 60 pounds in one year without even trying??? Get on some chemo! Wooo hoooo!" Heheh. I still think it's funny. Mostly cause it's true!)



Okay, returning from that slight tangent...back to my point. These days I dread Sunday nights because I know Honey's going to get up at the wee hours of Monday morning and go to work and be in Work Mode and on Work Schedule for the following five days while I just have to take it day by day, sometimes hour by hour, in keeping an eye on how I'm feeling physically in order to decide what sort of tasks I can occupy myself with while I stay home and fight this cancer. Even the most mundane of projects can be daunting for me sometimes, such as even filling the dishwasher with a sink full of yucky dishes that have been collecting for several days! I hate these sorts of daily challenges and it's awfully lonely most of the time. Which explains why I'm usually online nearly every single day!

Like I said before, I'm trying to come up with ways to avoid or work around the Sunday Night Blues (as my parents used to call them). So if you feel similarly on Sunday evenings, please drop your thoughts etc. on the subject in the Comments area to share with me and the other readers. Again, it will definitely help me (and hopefully others) feel less alone on Sunday nights - thusfar, I've felt it even a little bit comforting to know that if I'm here ho-humming through the evening, so is Pete or Carol and Dad and probably some, if not all of our neighbors, too! I know there's got to be more we can do to turn these Sunday Frowns Upside Downs!