Weight Loss Isn't All it's Cracked Up to Be

About a month after diagnosis, I began chemo and started losing weight. Not because the chemo made me sick or anything. It's just that either the chemo or my liver itself simply reprogrammed what my body wanted and did not want to eat anymore. It was almost immediate. Even looking at fried food made my stomach turn and anything surrounded by a pool of grease would turn my gag reflex on high. I got used to it and just ate whatever I wanted because my Oncologist told me that although I was overweight, I should try not to lose much weight as I go through chemo.

Within the first 10 months or so, I lost about 60 pounds without even trying. While my girlfriends were trying this diet or that one and struggling to lose just a couple more pounds here and there, my pounds were just falling off of me with every step I took. I never really knew it since I don't weigh myself unless I'm getting my vitals taken when I check into the clinic for chemo.

After that 60 pounds, I remained at a steady weight. Still "overweight" but I was pleased to have to go buy new jeans that were two sizes smaller and finally getting away with wearing some just XL clothes at Target or Kohl's! I felt pretty cool and my doc wasn't concerned about it.

I've remained that 60 pounds lighter, at a steady weight pretty much ever since (we're talking two years as of yesterday). I had a goal weight number that I wanted to get under and my doc gave me the okay to do it. Again, I didn't try very hard but by then the size of my stomach had shrunk so much that I would only be able to finish maybe a quarter to a half of a meal put before me. I didn't change what I ate and i wasn't really conscious of pushing those last 4 pounds off. But one day about three months ago, while weighing in at the clinic, I discovered I had made it just under my goal weight! After a couple of "WOOOP! WOOOP!" celebrations with Pete and the nurse who got to weigh me that day (thank you, Antoinette!) I took a deep breath, smiled and was content to just stay at that weight from now on.

Well, my appetite is a tricky little thing. Sometimes I can't even stand to think of any food that isn't of a creamy consistancy and almost flavor-less, preferrably liquid, while other times, just days later, I may be craving bean burritos and nachos from Taco Bell (bless Pete for humoring me by enduring Taco Bell for dinner three times that one particular week not long ago!). I can't really anticipate it so I just go with the flow.

Soon after I hit my first goal weight, I asked my doc if it was still okay for me to lose some weight, since I knew that I was still "overweight." Despite the cancer, I knew that I wasn't at a healthy weight to begin with so why not incorporate a little managed weight loss within doing EVERYTHING that I can to help heal myself?? She said that losing weight was okay as long as it wasn't more than just 1-2 pounds per week and that I was building and maintaining muscle mass at the same time. Well, I didn't listen to that last half about muscle mass but I did hear the 1-2 pounds thing and wondered how I could accomplish that...when I still can't seem to control my appetite very well these days.

I've been on the treadmills a few times here and there. I don't really break a sweat but I do get my body and blood moving for a half hour and that's really all that I need (thank goodness we have a TV in front of our treadmill in the basement!). I don't do the treadmill to lose weight...I do it to get that blood moving and, hopefully, get some of that muscley stuff my doc mentioned. (Don't worry, I do know the importance of having muscle mass in my body and not losing the weight by losing that stuff. Muscles are important. I get it. Sooner or later I'll get brave enough to climb onto Honey's weight bench and press a few 5 pounds or so!)

Yesterday, I climbed on the scale here at home...I don't know why but I did it. My jaw hit the floor when I saw I had lost another 15 pounds. That's 15 pounds in three weeks! That's more than my doctor wanted me to do and I had only been on the treadmill once or twice in that whole period!

All night I was obsessing about it. I wanted to be psyched and happy and celebrate the fact that those jeans I bought that were two sizes smaller were now falling off of me and that I needed to punch a new hole in my new, smaller belt...but at the same time, I was worried (cause I'm good that that!). Why did all that weight slip away so quickly? I have been eating, I swear! I'm supposed to be pushing more protien down my throat but that's so hard to do when I have very little appetite. But I HAD been eating. So why did that weight just jump off me and run away!?!?

Now, ladies, please don't hate me or anything cause this was completely out of my control and apparently not a good thing. So I told Pete all about it when he got home from work yesterday and after pondering it for a couple hours off and on, we realized that those 15 pounds may very well have been water weight!

Remember all the leg and foot swelling I've been enduring for the past month or so? Some days they're not swollen and other days they are. Doc's got me on a prescription (ie. heavy duty) diuretic, hoping that will help and I've been drinking water like it's going out of style (just cause I love water). I try to slow down my water intake around 7pm but I am still getting up a half dozen times for a trip to the Loo throughout the wee hours of the morning. It had gotten so bad that I also brought that up to Pete as an unrelated subject so that we could figure out a better way for me to cut back my water intake in the evenings while still being able to take ALL my necessary pills at night.

But yesterday, after probably my 80th trip to the restroom, I realized that my kidneys were kind of aching, really tired, pretty much worn out. So, we put two and two together and concluded that yes indeed that 15 pound weight loss was due to scheping off all that water weight. It makes perfect sense, especially since I spent more time IN the bathroom than OUT of the bathroom yesterday! (Or so it seemed!) And, big surprise, today my legs aren't nearly as swollen as they were just a couple days ago.

So it was just water. Or so we've deduced. Doc's got me on this diuretic twice a day but today I'm cutting it down to once a day and I'm emailing Nurse Gari to make sure that's okay to do (don't want to break any of my doctor's rules if I can help it! That is, unless she's wrong. LOL).

We're just a little confused that this happened so suddenly since I've been on that diuretic pill twice a day for three weeks now and all of a sudden I notice it's physical affect on me and my life. I would've guessed it would begin to do so as soon as I started taking said medication. Ah well, I'm not the boss of pills (although I may be the VP since I take so damn many of them! One day soon I'll post for you a lovely layout picture of all the pills I take throughout the day. I now refer to them as "A rainbow of fruit flavors!" since they're all different colors, shapes and sizes!)

So if you're walking down the street someday and you happen to see me floating on past you, please toss me a life preserver because I'm actually getting tired of all this weight loss!