As I was driving to my appointment with my new therapist, the following Beatles song came on the radio:
Help!Yes, I did sing along loudly and with feeling as I maneuvered through traffic. And it made me feel so good! The endorphins were pumping and I could not help but think how fortuitous it was that that particular song came on when it did!
(I need somebody)
Help!
(Not just anybody)
Help!
(You know, I need someone to...)
Heeeellllp!
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.
When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, wooo.
And the new therapist turned out to be GRRRREAT! I dumped it alllllll out on her and even ran 30 minutes over our allotted 1 hour session. But she took it all in with stride, even teared up with me a few times. But when I walked out of her office, I truly felt like she is going to (and had already begun to) help me unravel the past 20 years' worth of anxiety I've mashed in deep within myself so that I can enjoy a much more pleasant and fruitful future! Furthermore, she explained that by releasing so much of this pent up anxiety that I have, it will make room for more natural chemicals like endorphins and such to flow more freely through my body. In turn, that will make my body stronger and better-able to tolerate the chemotherapy treatments. And you know what that means, don't you??? If I can get through complete cycles of chemo in the coming months, it gives the chemo a much better chance to work harder on the tumors! It's a chain reaction sort of thing, you see? And I am so psyched to get started! She's not going to make me sludge through my rocky past but, instead, she's going to help me recondistion myself for a much more stable and enjoyable future! While at the same time, letting me talk candidly with her about certain cancer-related topics that I just cannot talk about with anybody else - I need that outlet, that release. I am so happy to have found her right when I need her! Horray! There is HOPE again!
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8 comments:
Hi there! I was directed to your blog by my husband, who works with your cousin, I think. At IBM. Anyway, I was recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and I just went through my second round of chemo yesterday. I am interested in reading your blog and finding out about your cancer experience. There is a lot to be learned from others who have been through some of the same things!
Looking forward to learning about you!
Carody
hooray! I'm glad you found someone you feel good about!
yay for hope.
one of my favorite words.
i'm so happy for you Abbey - and for the sense of relief that comes from talking from someone who is "outside" of the situation and can be very objective about it.
"Let the good in,
push the bad out,
breathe......."
So glad to hear you found a great therapist to help you on that inner road to hope and strength and peace.
You are loved,
Jane
Joyous Easter! I am so happy that you've found the right therapist! There was a time in my life when it was such a relief to have a caring, but objective, therapist to talk with, and I am very, very, very glad that you've been blessed with that opportunity.
As always, you're in my prayers, and in the Prayers of the People at your mom's church, and in the prayers of the new EfM group there. And as always, I wear my emerald green, liver-cancer-awareness bracelet, which is another form of prayer, I think. I bet there's a bunch of others out there who always wear one of your bracelets, too!
-- Selena
Praise God for HOPE! There is always hope. NO ONE can take that away from you. I am so glad you have found it again, Abbey.
that is great news! i'm so glad she was able to help and help with bringing that Hope back!
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