Random stuff

I have been totally disenchanted with the computer lately. Maybe it's because my laptop is busted and we're sending it off to Dell for repairs. (Remember, my "M" button isn't working, plus Honey wants them to make sure I didn't saturate the motherboard with coffee, plus I think I retained a virus by absentmindedly going to a website someone I did not trust sent me). So Honey set up his old laptop for me to use, which doesn't have my email address book (so you won't be getting any forwarded emails from me for a while), or other fun settings.

Anyway, here's what's happening at our house.

Jane is still here spoiling us to death! Scooping the litterboxes when we're not looking, washing the dishes and putting them away within nanoseconds of getting them dirty, baking multiple loaves of pumpkin bread with chocolate and nuts (YUM!), playing with the kitties and puppies, making our bed, doing our laundry, cleaning up my messes from living on the couch some days...I want her to stay but then if she did she'd just become our housekeeper and I'd really rather she just stay our very good friend. Almost like an aunt. She claims that she's heading home on Sunday but she has been busy every evening this week going out with other friends that she and Steve left behind when they moved to WV a couple years ago. I'm soooooo going to miss her when she's gone, and not just because of her housekeeping skills. She's so fun to visit and talk with, too. We just got back from an exhausting WalMart run and she's heading out soon to have dinner with some other friends. When she gets back, I intend to stay up late with her and participate in the Kitty Playtime that she conducts almost every night after we take the dogs to bed. Scarlett loooooooves Jane. Jane is now her BFF. She freaks out when Jane leaves her just to go to the bathroom or something. It's pretty funny.

Yesterday I said so long to my ShrinkyDink. I told her that I've learned a lot from her and now I'm ready to move on and fly solo for a while. If I need her she'll still be there and she wants us to keep her informed of my health and such. She's a great therapist but I think it's really time for me to move on.

We also met with Dr. G who performed my chemoembo last month. He said everything went really well and he showed us images of the results. Basically, we saw a darker area beneath my ribs compared to the image of what was done in March. It just boils down to the fact that he was able to get a lot more chemo into the tumor this time. He didn't hunt around or anything so he cannot make any claims as to whether or not the tumor has shrunk anymore. But he said hopefully Dr. Curley will be able to do surgery when we go to Houston in December. That's what we keep thinking about, trying to just put it out to the universe, hoping it will happen. Dad and Carol will be going with us and we're headed out there the second week of December.

My memory has been TERRIBLE since the chemoembo. I have trouble remembering much of what I did yesterday! It's kind of disappointing since I've always had a rather keen memory. Honey assures me my memory will recover over time.

Another thing we are battling (as if CANCER weren't enough!) is our insurance company stopped covering one of my chemo drugs as of mid-year. It's not really a chemo drug, per se, but it's Avastin and it blocks off blood supply to the tumor, preventing it from growing. I haven't had Avastin since September and we have exhausted the hospital's three appeal process to the insurance company. Now our case has been handed off to what we suspect is an advocate who will help us find alternate funding for me to get this drug. But really, we want to get our stupid insurance company to just cover it like they did earlier this year. They claim that it's only been approved for treatment of colon cancers, not bile duct cancers, as mine is. However, I heard a rumor that almost everyone in the infusion center with me on Fridays also get Avastin, no matter what type of tumor they have! ARGH! Honey spent several frustrating hours on the phone yesterday with the insurance company begging them to approve this drug for me. He keeps having to tell the entire story from the very begining (because people are naturally curious and think that it's fun to hear a story of a young lady with cancer) only to be transferred to someone else in a different department and having to repeat the facinating but sad story.

Jane assures us that the insurance company just wants us to give up and stop pestering them. Their goal is to wear us down until we throw in the towel and let them win. She says if we keep going at them, they will eventually give in and give us the drug. But really, I'm not sure how much longer Honey can spend energy and valuable time (when he should be working or resting) on the phone arguing with the insurance company. He promises me that he'll get them to give me the drug. And he is my hero for even participating in this battle for me. He also assures me that even though I want to do more to help, I am doing all that I should be doing in resting and healing and fighting this disease. Like Carol says, my job is to heal. I'm starting to think they're both right. That's not true...I'm not just starting to believe that...I do believe that. but still. Stupid insurance.

So do me a favor, will you? In your prayers for us, can you please start focusing your prayers and thoughts towards the insurance company and getting them to approve the use of Avastin in my chemo treatments? We believe in the power of prayer and positive thinking so the more people we can get doing that and focusing their energies on that particular area of our struggles, the better our chances are! Please and thank you in advance.

Love to you all. I'm going to nap now!